My graduate recital was a smashing success. I get pretty nervous to play for people. I never play as well in public as I do in a practice session. A few weeks before my recital I had a pretty negative performing experience which prompted me to go get a prescription from a doctor for a beta-blocker, which blocks your fight-or-flight physical response. I got a prescription for propanellol in 10mg pills and tried them in a few different doses in various settings and decided on 30mg, spread over a couple of hours. The day before the recital my friend Kim was flying in, and my daughter came down with vomiting and a terrible fever. So I decided to get out of dodge and go get a hotel room downtown so I wouldn't get sick and miss my culminating recital. Kim and I had a grand old time. We went out to dinner at my favorite downtown sushi place, Yoi Tomo's. We picked up a birthday cake from Cafe de Paris and ate it in our hotel room (Happy Birthday, Kim!). We met with the sound guy at school and laid some footage for some recordings for my "solo album" that I hope to finish next year. Kim and I always pack a ton of stuff in a day.
The next day we went for a pedicure together. I went and visited my alternative doctor who does a kind of physio/psycho-therapy with me. He gave me something to spray under my tongue that was supposed to "balance my yin." Whatever. I just know I felt better afterwards. I took my ipod and my yoga mat to school and warmed up really slowly for about 30 minutes at a time: play for 30 minutes, rest for 30, play for 30, rest for 30, play for 30. I felt nice and warm but not worn out. I think it was a good strategy.
By the time I went on stage, I was still apprehensive because I wanted it to go well, but I had no physical symptoms: no cold hands, no tremors, no racing heartbeat, no short shallow breathing. I had somewhere between 125-150 people in my audience. When I walked out onstage, I looked out at all those people clapping for me and couldn't see anyone but my best friend Kim and my husband Scott. It's kind of weird to look out and see so many people and yet not be able to SEE them. As the night went along, I could recognize more of them as I looked out into the audience.
I seem to remember stopping 3 or 4 times, and that I didn't always play the form of the pieces exactly like I had learned (circling around a few times or skipping some things) but I don't remember WHERE the problems were, and I was able to just move along and not dwell on the mistakes when they happened. It was a more enjoyable experience than I've ever had in a public performance. Usually I feel like I just committed a crime against humanity during and after a recital. This time, it was much better. I don't think beta-blockers will help EVERYONE, but they helped me. I don't think it will help if you have self-destructive thought patterns, or if you don't practice adequately. But it helped me a lot.
I played the Chopin 4th Ballade as well as I ever have, with no issues. I was really proud of it, it being the longest and most "advanced" of the pieces on my program.
I had a beautiful reception afterwards, arranged by my friends Monica and Ruth. The food was delicious and visually stunning. I was totally wiped out, but it was fun to visit with everyone. I felt so much support from my students, from my music teacher friends, from my professors, from church friends, and my family. My parents, Mikelle, and Kevin drove up from Utah to see me! And, my dad's cousin Woody and his wife Susan came! What an honor it was to have so many friends there.
I can't wait to be done studying for finals so I can learn some more music. I ordered the Mompou Chopin Variations and they are at Dunkley's waiting for me to pick them up, along with the Chopin Barcarolle. That would be a nice CD, the Chopin Ballade, Barcarolle, and the Mompou variations. I'm off to a good start.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Downhill Stretch
This coming week I have my last midterm of my last semester of my graduate program. It's a pretty heavy test! I've made 80 index cards and ran out, and had to buy more before I can even touch the listening portion of the exam.
Yesterday I judged all day for the NFMC festival in Nampa, and came home and tried to practice when I totally "hit the wall." I've been practicing about 3 hours a day for the last two years, and I thought I would DIE after about 40 minutes of playing. I got through the whole program, but it wasn't pretty! Try to make ART out of notes when you feel that way. YUCK. So I finished (against my will, or according to my will, what have you) and went to the Game Keeper with Scott to hear Sandon Mayhew (saxophone) and the New Trio Plus which includes Rob Walker on cornet. Usually Chuck Smith plays piano for them, but for some reason Andrew Cortens was on the keys last night. He did a pretty good job. They played one number that was especially good. I don't know the names of any of the music they play; it's all bop and I'm not really familiar with the tunes. But Rob gave an amazing solo, and then Andrew took a solo which copied most of what Rob did almost exactly. It was pretty cool. I also loved it when Rob and Sandon were playing in unison or in parallel motion. The energy was really high and the playing was tight and FUN. I almost gave them a standing ovation, but I don't think it's quite customary in a lounge setting. They also did one Gershwin number which Andrew sang, which I can't remember the title of, but it struck me as pretty unusual to hear a song that is nearing 100 years old played by a bop band, even though Gershwin tunes are all pretty standard with jazz players.
It's been a pretty awesome couple of months, even though I haven't written very much on the blog. I got to go hear Juli Draney play with the ballet, a Brahms set and a Gershwin set. Her playing inspires me. Her practice ethic of late inspires me. I got to hear Lorca Hart's trio live last week. They were awesome. I loved Lorca's manner. I want to play jazz more than ever when I hear these greats. Scott and I heard a fabulous trio at the Blue Door Cafe last week; I never got their names, but the level of playing was impressive! We had a pretty great time at piano club last month; Reed played some original pieces that were some of his best yet. Andrew Armstrong came to Idaho and played a solo recital, including 2 of the pieces that will be on my graduate recital. We had a roaring party here at the house afterward, and he and Juli and I stayed up till 3:30am discussing the virtues of Chopin and Stevie Wonder. Truly one of the most inspirational nights of my life. Juli and I did a play-through for each other of our upcoming concert pieces, and I think it was truly some of the best playing either of us has ever done. It was a high point for me, performance-wise. I'm really enjoying my American Music History course with Dr. Belfy. America's Musical Life by Richard Crawford is inspiring me with all kinds of ideas for what to do after I graduate. And, I buried my grandma, which was very, very sad, but also brought me close to many of my family members, and has brought back a flood of happy and unexpected memories.
I sent out 250 postcard invitations to my recital! I'm getting pretty nervous about it now. What if people actually come? What if no one comes? LOL, I'm pretty worried, either way! My bachelors recital was for about 40 people. This hall holds about 200, and I think it'll be pretty full. I'm excited and terrified. I'm going to try taking a beta-blocker and see if it helps me keep my composure a little better. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've had a wonderful time learning as I've worked toward this degree. I think I've accomplished already what I set out to do. Let's see if I can articulate what those things are: 1. Become a better pianist. 2. Learn more music. 3. Enlarge my network. 4. Learn more ABOUT music, for a springboard to more and significant music projects. 5. Obtain the Master's diploma that I have been coveting! 6. Enlarge my knowledge of existing repertoire. Even though I haven't graduated YET, (10 weeks to go!) I think I have accomplished most of those aims. I think this experience has set me up to be a better musician, and to be able to do some writing and to put together entertaining and artistic concert programs and recordings. I've got my eye on a bright future!
Yesterday I judged all day for the NFMC festival in Nampa, and came home and tried to practice when I totally "hit the wall." I've been practicing about 3 hours a day for the last two years, and I thought I would DIE after about 40 minutes of playing. I got through the whole program, but it wasn't pretty! Try to make ART out of notes when you feel that way. YUCK. So I finished (against my will, or according to my will, what have you) and went to the Game Keeper with Scott to hear Sandon Mayhew (saxophone) and the New Trio Plus which includes Rob Walker on cornet. Usually Chuck Smith plays piano for them, but for some reason Andrew Cortens was on the keys last night. He did a pretty good job. They played one number that was especially good. I don't know the names of any of the music they play; it's all bop and I'm not really familiar with the tunes. But Rob gave an amazing solo, and then Andrew took a solo which copied most of what Rob did almost exactly. It was pretty cool. I also loved it when Rob and Sandon were playing in unison or in parallel motion. The energy was really high and the playing was tight and FUN. I almost gave them a standing ovation, but I don't think it's quite customary in a lounge setting. They also did one Gershwin number which Andrew sang, which I can't remember the title of, but it struck me as pretty unusual to hear a song that is nearing 100 years old played by a bop band, even though Gershwin tunes are all pretty standard with jazz players.
It's been a pretty awesome couple of months, even though I haven't written very much on the blog. I got to go hear Juli Draney play with the ballet, a Brahms set and a Gershwin set. Her playing inspires me. Her practice ethic of late inspires me. I got to hear Lorca Hart's trio live last week. They were awesome. I loved Lorca's manner. I want to play jazz more than ever when I hear these greats. Scott and I heard a fabulous trio at the Blue Door Cafe last week; I never got their names, but the level of playing was impressive! We had a pretty great time at piano club last month; Reed played some original pieces that were some of his best yet. Andrew Armstrong came to Idaho and played a solo recital, including 2 of the pieces that will be on my graduate recital. We had a roaring party here at the house afterward, and he and Juli and I stayed up till 3:30am discussing the virtues of Chopin and Stevie Wonder. Truly one of the most inspirational nights of my life. Juli and I did a play-through for each other of our upcoming concert pieces, and I think it was truly some of the best playing either of us has ever done. It was a high point for me, performance-wise. I'm really enjoying my American Music History course with Dr. Belfy. America's Musical Life by Richard Crawford is inspiring me with all kinds of ideas for what to do after I graduate. And, I buried my grandma, which was very, very sad, but also brought me close to many of my family members, and has brought back a flood of happy and unexpected memories.
I sent out 250 postcard invitations to my recital! I'm getting pretty nervous about it now. What if people actually come? What if no one comes? LOL, I'm pretty worried, either way! My bachelors recital was for about 40 people. This hall holds about 200, and I think it'll be pretty full. I'm excited and terrified. I'm going to try taking a beta-blocker and see if it helps me keep my composure a little better. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've had a wonderful time learning as I've worked toward this degree. I think I've accomplished already what I set out to do. Let's see if I can articulate what those things are: 1. Become a better pianist. 2. Learn more music. 3. Enlarge my network. 4. Learn more ABOUT music, for a springboard to more and significant music projects. 5. Obtain the Master's diploma that I have been coveting! 6. Enlarge my knowledge of existing repertoire. Even though I haven't graduated YET, (10 weeks to go!) I think I have accomplished most of those aims. I think this experience has set me up to be a better musician, and to be able to do some writing and to put together entertaining and artistic concert programs and recordings. I've got my eye on a bright future!
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