Never when it counts

I auditioned to play with the local community orchestra today. I was really nervous, but felt quite prepared, in spite of never having played my piece straight through with no stopping in front of observers. I played the first movement of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 4 in G minor. My teacher came with me and played the orchestral reduction accompaniment. He plays so beautifully. I always have to remind myself how lucky I am to be playing with him when I'm in the midst of a run-through. Although, I must admit, I think I am a more sensitive collaborator than he is (lol). Anyway, it was just the three of us in the room, me, my teacher, and the conductor. It went pretty well. I had one tiny fudge/pause but didn't stop outright, and was able to keep going and finish the piece. I played it better than I have ever played in front of an audience. He said he'd make his decision in mid-June. Then I came home and played it for a friend who stopped by (non-musician), and I kept thinking, "This is stupid; it would have been much more helpful to have played for her yesterday; this doesn't even count, since my audition is over." Wouldn't you know? I played it PERFECTLY that time. Not a single pause. Straight through with not a single hiccup. So here's the million dollar question: Why can't I ever play perfectly when it counts? Why, when it counts the most, can't I pull myself together?

I got to thinking that I started having these memory lapses when I was in high school and college. That was about the time that I started trying to follow my teachers' advice about learning music in small sections, rather than playing straight through again and again. Well, I had the brilliant idea that perhaps to play straight through again and again might be the missing link in my practicing. Maybe what I need is the complete train of thought. Maybe with my next piece, after I practice the thing in sections rehearsing each detail, I should demand that I play it straight through 5 times each day, with or without the music. I think it's worth a try. I think I'd have less memory trouble. I'm going to do it.

It's been a good practice day!

How many hours have I practice today? I'm not sure. It's really hard to keep track when you do it all piecemeal. But tonight I sat down after dinner to play through everything one last time. I'm about halfway memorized on Chopin's 4th Ballade, and about 3/4 memorized on Rachmaninoff's 4th piano concerto. For the third piece for my jury, I'm preparing "Midsummer's Nocturne" by Copland. I was thrilled when I finished practicing and my husband chimed, "You sound great!" He almost never compliments my playing, so I felt that was a real compliment. And I will say, I'm sounding great.

I have a new practice strategy that some of you might want to try. Because of the studies that I've read stating the value of mental practice, and that mental practice is almost more helpful than actual physical practice, I've decided to include it in my practice strategy in a more deliberate way. Some of you know that I practice my music in small sections (1/2 a measure to 4 measures, depending on the difficulty of the music). Usually I try to play each section 10 times perfectly before I move on to the next section. With memorization, this is very helpful for me. So I decided to take lucky 3 and lucky 7 and do mental practice on the 3rd and 7th time through a section. I don't always remember to, but when I do, I think it's helpful. It gives my hands a chance to rest, and gives me more focus for all the other times. Give it a try and tell me what you think.