Never when it counts

I auditioned to play with the local community orchestra today. I was really nervous, but felt quite prepared, in spite of never having played my piece straight through with no stopping in front of observers. I played the first movement of Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 4 in G minor. My teacher came with me and played the orchestral reduction accompaniment. He plays so beautifully. I always have to remind myself how lucky I am to be playing with him when I'm in the midst of a run-through. Although, I must admit, I think I am a more sensitive collaborator than he is (lol). Anyway, it was just the three of us in the room, me, my teacher, and the conductor. It went pretty well. I had one tiny fudge/pause but didn't stop outright, and was able to keep going and finish the piece. I played it better than I have ever played in front of an audience. He said he'd make his decision in mid-June. Then I came home and played it for a friend who stopped by (non-musician), and I kept thinking, "This is stupid; it would have been much more helpful to have played for her yesterday; this doesn't even count, since my audition is over." Wouldn't you know? I played it PERFECTLY that time. Not a single pause. Straight through with not a single hiccup. So here's the million dollar question: Why can't I ever play perfectly when it counts? Why, when it counts the most, can't I pull myself together?

I got to thinking that I started having these memory lapses when I was in high school and college. That was about the time that I started trying to follow my teachers' advice about learning music in small sections, rather than playing straight through again and again. Well, I had the brilliant idea that perhaps to play straight through again and again might be the missing link in my practicing. Maybe what I need is the complete train of thought. Maybe with my next piece, after I practice the thing in sections rehearsing each detail, I should demand that I play it straight through 5 times each day, with or without the music. I think it's worth a try. I think I'd have less memory trouble. I'm going to do it.

I May Have a Chance!

Today I got all the way through my concerto from memory without stopping, accompanied by my teacher!! He even let me play it up to speed, which is a HUGE compliment, since I've been playing at 1/2 tempo with the metronome for several weeks. I think I may have a chance at this thing! The preliminaries are in 2 weeks, followed the next week by the finals, in which they choose a bunch of people from all the instruments and singers to play concertos and arias with the Boise State University Symphony Orchestra. I feel great about my playing. It's been so much WORK, but it will be so worth it if I can play it with an orchestra. I've never played a concerto with an orchestra before. That would be a landmark achievement for me. I hope Dr. Purdy likes Rachmaninoff!

Progress

It seems like it must be time for another post. Last week I passed my Music History Predictive! Mostly. There were three big sections, with three subsections each. If you fail one of the big sections, you have to re-take the corresponding undergraduate music history course. Worst case scenario, re-take three semesters of undergraduate music history. I studied really hard for the renaissance section, and hoped some of my life experience would come through for me and I'd pass portions of the others, which I did. I passed 7 out of 9 sections altogether. I'm going to have to re-take one portion of the classical section and one portion of the 20th century section. I think if both of the sections I failed were in the same era, I'd probably have had to re-take one of the classes. This is a very good thing, because if you haven't passed the history requirement, you aren't allowed to register for your graduate recital, so it would conceivably have extended my program by a $emester. I'm very pleased with myself for doing so well!

Now, I'm getting ready for the concerto/aria competition. Last semester I learned the Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 4 in G Minor. The competition is a month away. I have it mostly memorized, but still have a ways to go. Listen to how cool my teacher is: He's going to play through my concerto with me every day next week. Normally we meet twice a week. Next week, we'll meet five times. I'm so grateful! He said, "You just need a jump start." Talk about incentive to practice. I'm going to have to make noticeable progress every day next week. Yowza. Think how great I'll be a week from today! Don't you just love Rachmaninoff?